I’ve been meaning to upload a blog post for weeks, but never found the motivation, and pretty much felt uninspired. I hit a low point honestly. I’ve still pulling myself back up again, but I’m trying my best to work on it. One of the reasons why I’ve hit this low point is my current living situation.
I’ll give you a brief history, for context: I never took a year out. I went straight from secondary school, to college, to my undergraduate degree, and then went straight onto doing an Masters Course. I wish that I did take a break. I wish that I took a gap to take a breather and really consider what I wanted to do.
Obviously, hindsight is a wonderful thing. And alas, I’m sat here, with my brain fried and beaten, constantly fearing and wondering what I want to do with myself. So currently, my brain has been in a low place.
In first year, I lived with 5 others, in second year, it was 4 others, and in third year, it was one other. When it came to finding somewhere for my Masters course, I thought to myself that I wanted my space again, and wanted a small space for myself that I could call my own. Months ago, I loved the idea of living by myself, and thought that I would be too busy to really notice the loneliness. I was completely wrong.
Nowadays, I spend most of my time either at work, or by myself. I’ve started to really dislike my own company, which is again, something I’m working on. I think that if I had more friends in the town that I live in, then it would be easier to live in a studio flat. But because 90% of my friends left my town at the end of my third year, it’s pretty lonely now. I thought that I was an introvert, but I’ve now realised that I am definitely not. I’m such an extrovert, I enjoy seeing people, and I get so much energy and motivation from that.
- You can do whatever you want, whenever you want (with neighbours in mind)
- You can walk around naked (weird flex, but okay)
- You can pee with the door open (again, bit of a weird one, but it saves shutting doors constantly!)
- You can cook whatever/whenever you want – without the possible judgement from others
- You get judged less (because you see less people)
- You learn more about yourself because you have more time to think and do the things that you want to really do
- You get lonely. I originally thought that I would be okay, but sadly, it’s not worked out that way. I thought that I dealt with loneliness quite well, and I have been so far, it’s been 4 months and it’s been okay, just a bit saddening at times.
- If you’re having a bit of a tizzy at 4am, and just want someone to chat to about the universe, the closest thing you have to it is calling up a friend, or messaging someone who lives down the road to come over. It’s just not the same as knocking on your friend’s door a few metres away and blubbering about your existential questions.
- I overthink a lot more. I’ve found that because there isn’t anyone to talk to every half an hour, I’ve started to overthink a lot. Which sucks. I’ve been rethinking a lot of things, and I don’t even understand it entirely myself. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had more time to overthink things, or because I haven’t got many people who I can see in person who I can talk these issues over with. I’ve even been overthinking overthinking, like what.
- As someone who’s rubbish at cooking anything properly (I may do a blog post about all of my eating issues at some point), you can’t ask anyone for advice, or ask them to double check if something is ‘done yet’. You can, of course, invite a friend over, or you can video call them, but it’s just not the same as tapping on someone’s door and getting the issue solved right there and then.
- Sometimes, when I’m not at work, and haven’t seen anyone outside of work for a few days, I can go days without seeing or talking to anyone in person. And as someone who’s recently discovered that they’re an extrovert, that’s a big thing. It feels like I’m actually losing energy the longer I go without speaking to anyone. I love talking. Which is something I’ve been embarrassed to admit because it makes me seem a bit…Big-headed? I don’t know?
My final thought is that if you love your own company, and get your energy and enthusiasm from being alone, and from seeing few people, then living in a studio flat would suit you quite nicely. However, if you are an extrovert, like me, then you’ll find it quite difficult – especially if you don’t have many other friends that you can discuss things with.
End-note – I wish that I knew more about myself before deciding to live in a studio flat. If I knew what I knew now, and could change where I decided to live for a year, then I would have definitely have chosen to live with other people, mainly 4 others, in a house again. Hindsight is a great thing!
What are your guys’ opinions on studio flats/shared living? Are you an extrovert or an introvert? I’d love to discuss it in the comments! As I’m uploading this on a Monday, I hope that you have a great week!